Nightfloat Haikus

Of Nightfloat I'm torn:

No rounding, but up all night.

It makes me feel old.

We sign out at six;

Ten patients, none critical...

Maybe I will sleep.

After dinner I chart;

Behind on work from clinic.

What else is new eh?

My senior's downstairs.

Left to my own devices

I feel important

I round to make sure

everyone has morning labs.

When done - to call room.

Holding the pager:

critical calls - I've had enough.

Try to sleep...I'm tired.

Midnight - 5 north calls:

"Your seeker wants more pain pills."

Tylenol per rectum.

12:30 - OB:

"Can you help with this section?"

I will...every time.

1:15 admit:

Was puking, but now better.

This person's not sick.

2am I'm paged:

99 is not fever;

Do not page again.

2:45 page:

"Can this patient have water?"

NPO means no.

3:20 - 4 north:

"Patient is constipated."

Only noticed now?

3:50 - I'm paged:

Stable patient; cough all day.

Why wait until now?

4am - Code Blue:

Epinephine doesn't work...

It rarely does....CLEAR!!

4:30 to bed:

Can't fall asleep; I'll get paged.

Infomercial time.

5 - 'critical' lab:

Potassium 3.1.

Are you kidding me?

5:30 admit:

Patient was there since last night.

ER shift change soon.

6:15 - breakfast:

Over easy, bacon please.

Healthy food next time.

6:50 - print list:

Real sleep is within my sight.

The team's almost here. 

7 - sign-out time:

The list is not very long.

No dawdling please.

7:30 - drive home:

My eyelids are so heavy.

Don't fall asleep.

I'm home now in bed.

A long night now behind me.

Many more to come.

It seems I complain;

I really do love my job.

Can't wait for new goats.

 **note - a 'goat' is an intern....only 67 more days of goat-dom for me!!**